I sat with a dear friend of my sister's, let's call her the Enid, yesterday afternoon and caught up. I love Enid. She's 34 (35?), still single and a blond bombshell party girl with brains and attitude. While everyone around her has gotten married she's not been willing to settle for the drongos that have come her way. But as she said to me yesterday, the time has come. No more clubbing. No more Sex and the City lifestyle. She's trying speed-dating. I actually think this is really cool for her, because she'll be great at it! Yes, I probably have the wrong attitude to speed-dating when I think of it as a competition but then I'm not at the speed-dating stage of life yet.
Enid confessed, with much embarrassment that she had recently read a book on relationships by Doctor Phil. In the book she was required to list all the ideal attributes for a partner that she has. Knowing Enid, I can imagine this to be a pretty long list! Then about 3/4 of the way through Doctor Phil does a turnaround and tells the reader that they can only have 80% of that list because there's no such thing as a perfect partner - bastard; I'd be feeling pretty ripped off at this point. This seems like a fairly reasonable thing to do when we are sitting there building up a picture of the perfect partner. However it did make me think about my own 'list' to which I need to subtract 80%.
A list of pre-reqs for a partner is a difficult thing. As I've considered it I could only come up with the following :
1) intelligent
2) affectionate
3) open-minded
4) Someone I am attracted to physically (this doesn't mean physically attractive in a media sense as that's just not my thing, but someone that I find attractive)
Number 1 is non-negotiable. As is number 2 because I think that is 100% necessary for a relationship to work. And number 3? Well, is that the one I have to strike from my list? Crap... can't imagine dating someone that is bigoted in any way. Number 4? Well that seems to be integral as well. I am yet to see any happy marriages where there is zero attraction between the two partners. I have however seen plenty of unhappy marriages where there's no physical attraction. Besides, this one seems to relate to number 2. The worst part for me is that when I'm asking so little that I have to strike anything at all from my list!
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3 comments:
what about loyal and understanding? isn't that important too??
mayb you should consider enid instead...
LOL. Don't think so. And yes they're both very important, especially understanding. Think I can skip on the loyalty thing coz if she's in love with me then she should be loyal. Perhaps Understanding should be added as a fifth - after all I understand the patience of a saint is needed to date me! This means one of the five has to go. Think it will be open-minded.
Enid I love to pieces but sooooooooo not my type!
"..blond bombshell party girl with brains and attitude." I don't know, dude, sounds like Enid's got your #1, #3, and #4. If you put the mack on her, you might discover #2. Hmmmmm, are you SURE she's not your type? ;-)
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