From the mouths of babes

Some insightful comments from my 7 year olds tonight :

Student 1 : I have no phobias.
Student 2 : My fear is God... and the dark.

After I told them that I would no longer be their teacher after tonight's lesson the God/dark student said :

Student : Is that because you couldn't control the class?

*Ulp!*


For the third time this year I've bought razors that don't fit the handle I have in my bathroom. You'd think I would learn...

I was tearing from the betrayal

It would appear that there is much betrayal going on in Singaporean schools. Oh yes, and a whole lot of tearing. No, no, not like when you rip a phone book in half to impress a girl. Apparently this tearing is crying, or at least starting to cry. I've been a teacher for some years now and am curious to know whether I am being sold down the river or whether I truly am as dumb as I look. Have any of you guys heard of the verb 'tearing'? I've only ever heard it from Singaporeans which lends credence to my this-is-a-made-up-Singlish-word theory. But I'm open to being utterly wrong. So is 'tearing' actually a word? I've never heard it used in Australia but it is said/written here with such regularity and conviction that I have to wonder whether maybe I'm the one with the vocabulary problem.

Oh yes, and betrayal. It's such a great word that I almost never use - someone recently said that this was because I'm so careful that it would be very difficult for anyone to betray me. And yet, it would appear that the majority of my students have been betrayed by their 'best' friends. Whether is was their friend stealing something and then blaming it on the writer or them making a pact to cheat only to have the friend inform the examiner at the last minute, there seems to be an undercurrent of skulduggery and quite knifing going on across the island. I'm not sure whether this can be attributed to astounding naivety on the writer's part or a willingness to partake in petty criminal activities, but I've just spent the last 2 hours reading all about 'tearing' and betrayal from a bunch of Secondary 4 (equivalent to Year 10) students. My brain hurts.

I'm not yet finished Potter so I'm avoiding all of your blogs and won't read the comments on this one til I'm done. Yes, I've learnt from my students that I can't trust anyone ;)
I'm planning some commentary on the writing styles of Geoff Johns, Brian Bendis and Gail Simone soon. I know how much you all love comics so I'm sure you're drooling in anticipation.
OooooOOOoooooOOOOOoooh!!!
WHEN DID AVRIL LAVIGNE GET HEY OWN MANGA!!!??!?!?!
I noticed this in Kinokuniya the other day. She has manga... my head is still trying to grasp this concept. I understand that she's a record label creation. I get that. It's a carefully constructed image made palatable for the 11-15 year old girl crowd, while being just (corporate) "edgy" enough to avoid total deconstruction by the mainstream media. And now she has manga. Tapping the EXACT same demographic that would buy her albums, hence doubling sales. This news doesn't make me want to vomit, it makes me want to shake the hand of whichever low-ranking office clerk passed off this brilliant idea to the boss that then claimed it as his own in a high-ranking board meeting. It's genius.

Welcome to the reign of black and white. Despite being laughed out of a bbq at a friend's house at the beginning of the season, I take much pleasure in noting that Collingwood are the only team supported by anyone from the conversation that is going to be playing finals this year.
RIP Sheedy's Essendon reign.

First Post

It was only a matter of time. I honestly think that every time something like this happens, John Howard rubs his hands with glee seeing opinion poll numbers increasing like a broken pokie machine. But yes, Little John has begun to play the terrorism/oil card in the lead up to the election. *Yawn*, could he be any more boring and predictable?

If one was a clever polly then you'd be playing up more stringent gun control as an election issue. Examples outside of the recent Melbourne shooting can be found here, here, here, here and here.
While admittedly, the above examples are all from one source and a couple of them are the results of trials from gun-related violence earlier in the year, what becomes more sinister is that all of them are from the last 8 days. Clearly Australia needs to consider the proliferation of illegal (and perhaps in some cases legal) firearms which seem to be making their way to our streets. As I said, a clever polly would raise this issue.

"We don't know what Sabeel did with it or who he called. I am convinced that it's the card that has got my husband into trouble," says Firdous, still looking big after her pregnancy.

From this article.

What kinda of B-grade journalists are currently being employed by The Age?? I'm pretty sure her size is not in the public interest. Nor are descriptions of how large her family's house is or how poor and ratty her husband's family's house is. It's almost like they found a Wikipedia article about these people and just through as much information as they could into the article with a complete disregard for what the article was actually about.


In Sg


Yes I'm here. Living in a new place and having started a new job. Obviously it's obscenely hot here much of the time and while I like to think that I think green, that's pretty much gone out the window. Though interestingly I still employ many of the same water-crisis techniques that I had to endure in Melbourne for the past couple of years. I am able to get weekly doses of AFL here as they show three or four games every weekend on the Australia Network. They seem to have an affinity for Collingwood and Richmond games which suits me just fine. I live in an apartment building about ten minutes walk from Orchard Rd. Prime real estate if you know Singapore at all. Unfortunately due to the insane increase in real estate price (there are reasons but I can't be bothered going into it) I live in the tiniest apartment imaginable. Still it's mine and that's all good.

The job itself is quite good. I'm getting my head around their way of doing things as much as I can and am stoked to learn I have 12 weeks paid vacation a year!!! I think this is karmic. The universe is repaying for being such an excellent worker. It's the only possible explanation. Right now I am teaching primary and secondary students though in about a month I will go back to teaching adults. Surprisingly I really love teaching primary because they're pretty much on my same intellectual level.

I've watched a number of movies since being here. On the more expensive days (Fri/Sat/Sun) a movie here costs SGD$9.50 which I guess is about AUD$8.40 very very roughly. So since arriving I've seen Fantastic Four (stupidest epilogue in the history of cinema - it literally makes no sense or is horribly racist), Deathproof (ok, but I'm still not entirely sure whether I like it or not) and Transformers (which I loved loved loved). Lots of stupid segments in Transformers but I knew what I was getting into by paying money to see a Michael Bay film. I realised just now that I've actually only seen one of his films before which was Armageddon. Watched in Japan where you consume every single crappy English language movie you can get your hands on. However, there were giant robots belting the axel grease out of one another and that's what I paid money to see. Using the original cartoon's voice actor for Optimus Prime for Optimus Prime in the movie was genius. The nostalgia all comes flooding back as soon as you here his voice. I'm also now sold on the idea of Shia Labeouf as Indiana Jones' son. He has the right kind of comic timing and stupidity to do it justice.

Visions of the Future

A Singaporean colleague provided me this sample of what I may have to expect when I teach in Singapore :

Hi Sir. You're the ang moh teacher from Melbourne, is it? If you got
time, give me private tuition, can or not? Alamak! My English so terok,
my teacher also cannot understand. Wah lau, the Singapore garment want
us to speak like Lee Kuan Yew! Where can? Also, where got time to
learn?
My parents so kia su, want me to go to Raffles Junior College. Chee
sin!
Down there, the teachers so chiong hey, use big, big, words, where can
understand? Already, I so blur in Chang Kat Changi Secondary School,
where got hope go to Raffles? My friend mother say you dam good
teacher.
You help me get 8 A in O level, I be your good friend. I got pretty
sister. Also can cook. Wah lau, her laksa is dam shiok! I think you
like
her. I be your pen friend, can or not?

Fabian Oh Ah Beng

*DISCLAIMER* - I've not experienced this kind of English on my trips to Singapore so far. I'm not sure whether this reflects on the people I associate with or the stereotype contained herein. However I did piss myself laughing when I was sent this. As a teacher of English as a Second Language you are occasionally faced with utter garbage, there's no other way to put it. That says nothing about the speaker's intelligence and more about the difficulty of becoming proficient in a second language you didn't learn from childhood. But at times it's either laugh or cry stuff.

Do you want me?

I've come to the end of a stupid, frustrating and ultimately exhausting 7 days. I've had epic levels of marking to complete, fielded the justified complaints of one of my classes and had to contend with identity and God issues. This is all a pretty typical week for me (with the exception of complaints at work as I very rarely receive them) but somehow it has just left me with the strength of a kitten and the brainpower of a zombie goldfish.

This term should have been a cruisy one. I had a lovely mix of students in terms of nationalities but after five weeks of this I've come to a conclusion. I need to change. Previously our student body was probably 85% Asian. This made life easy. I've been there done that and became very good at predicting their learning needs and how to handle classroom issues. Currently the student body is probably about 40% Asian, 30% Latin American, 15% Saudi Arabian and then misc. The Latin American and Saudi students are a TOTALLY different ballgame to teaching Asian students. You're all thinking "Duh! Did you teach at or attend a school for the 'gifted'?", but it's been a mind-bending experience. The student needs are so vastly different that it will require a total shift in my way of teaching to satisfy their needs. This is not a bad thing, mind you. Honestly, I'm probably at that point where I needed a complete challenge in what I'm doing.

The student complaints? Well that's where things got a bit edgy. They weren't complaints directed at me, but at my co-teacher (who happens to be one of my best friends at work). They went ballistic with a phonebook of charges against my co-teacher (she was with them 3 days and I was with them 2). The worst part was that I actually agreed with many of the things they were saying. So then there's that awkward thing where you try to defuse the situation while not taking anyone's side. When I tried to broach some of these issues with my friend she was very sensitive about the whole thing and just didn't seem to empathise with the students' POV. So what did I learn from this? That I MUST be class teacher when I work at this level. That way I have total control over the students' learning and can trust that all the things that need to be covered have indeed been covered.

It was suggested by the person closest to me that I am exactly like the main character, Hajime, in the novel South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami. Given that I've always felt an affinity with the protagonists in Murakami's works this does feel somewhat complementary on some level. But as much as I love Hajime, he's deeply flawed. And while I spend hours of days of weeks picking at my own scabs it can sometimes be a little weird to have someone tell you them as well. Secretly (or not so secretly given that I'm writing this on the Interweb)? I'm kind of happy that she saw parallels because they are definitely there. But I'm left with that thought : am I Hajime?

Youtube and I are going to have to assess our relationship. It's mostly been passionate, oftentimes funny and almost always time-filling. But last night the cracks in the veneer began to show. Youtube showed me hardcore preachers. They're sneaky and clever, using Youtube as a new method of spreading God's word. But if you actually listen to what they're saying... well... psssssssssssssssst guys! It's a little fucking insane! So besides Bargearse and 80's pop videoclips, Youtube and I are taking a break from one another. Damn you Youtube. I never thought you'd hurt my eyes and ears that way :(

PD

Tomorrow I'll be running a PD at work entitled "Multimedia and the classroom". God knows what that means but after spending the last 20 minutes brainstorming I've finally realised what I will actually do. Funny that I feel more exposed teaching my students than I do teaching the teachers, but there we go. So the lion's share of this PD will be based around using PowerPoint. Anyone that knows me, SL you can stop giggling now, knows that up until about 6 months ago I knew nothing at all about PowerPoint. In fact, I'd never used it before much to my Singaporean tutor's dismay. I'd prefer to move pretty far beyond using PowerPoint but I'll be dealing with people even more technologically inept than I am and I only have an hour to do it, so I don't want to make their heads explode. Too much.

So I'll teach them how to create Digital Portfolios and how this can be used as a classroom tool for assessment and general learning for ESL students. From there I'll move on to creating quizzes using PowerPoint, which basically just entails hyperlinking slides together so the students just have to choose options etc. Think Sale of the Century (Temptation) and you're most of the way there. This is probably about as much as I'll get done in an hour with a bunch of technophobes, but really I'd like to get on to the use and value of YouTube as a classroom tool and blogging. Doubt I'll get to the meaty stuff though.

When I type the above it makes it seem halfway that I know what I'm on about. My co-workers will never know that I'm talking through my ass.

Must. Calm. Myself.

I am beginning to wonder very intently why I have been working my ass off in the hope that I will be rewarded with a full-time position that pays $45,ooo/year. I'm really not very clever in many ways.
This brings up the dilemma of what to do next. I honestly don't want to go back to study all over again. It would be too painful. I need something that challenges the mind and has a variety of tasks - it's hard having the concentration span of a three year old.
I don't know that I actually want to move on from teaching, I love it too much. I am just not feeling that teaching loves me back very much at the moment...

Back to regular transmission

The World's Worst Story is over, the only disappointment being that I wasn't able to make it worse. I'll try harder next time. Yes, there's a missing chapter. No, it won't be posted tomorrow or the next day. As everyone knows, it's good to leave some things out so you can come back later and exploit them for profit. Or at the very least for blog comments. My favourite part of doing this besides writing cheesy dialogue was using my very first ret con. Around Chapter 5 or something I ret-conned in motivation (i.e. "character development") for the lead character. If it's confusing as to why that's a fun thing to do, it's mostly because it's so absurd. W, you can ask your brother about ret cons. He'll probably find it amusing that I used one.

This week is week 5 (I teach 5 week terms here) and so I spent most of today marking and staring at a spreadsheet trying to make it talk to me. It said mostly nice things, though I'd prefer it told me how all my students are going to pass this term. It appears in theory that they will all find themselves as intrepid first-years and inspired post-grads shortly so I should consider the term a success. Now that the craziness of this term is almost behind me I can start focusing a bit more again on what I'm doing with my students. I've had some good ideas recently for synthesis of evidence so I'm going to pilot them at the start of next term. Despite writing one of the end-of-term tests the past two terms I am going to go into the next stage meeting and argue why they shouldn't be used as test materials. Mostly because I'm that kind of person, and partially because it will scare my co-workers that I would create things just to tear them apart in no time at all.

Am I a bad bf for suggesting that I won't be celebrating Valentine's Day because I find it even more offensive than Christmas? Even from here in Australia, on a brisk 38 degree day, the air in the room turned suddenly colder after I said this. In hindsight, I should consider that just because I find it offensive, doesn't mean SL would. I'm still not celebrating it (sorry baby) but I guess I can see where I may be back in the doghouse again.

So this leaves us with just two questions :

1) Do we need an Even Worse Worst Story in the World?

2) Valentine's Day : offensive or worthy of marking?

Post Erection Blog

Labor is here to stay. No real surprises as the ALP and Libs basically had the same policies on many key issues and nobody really knew who the hell Ted Bailleau was. Pretty hard if you only become the leader of the party 6-8 months before the election. So it was all about familiarity. And the devil we know seemed a better choice than the devil we don't.

Have finished marking for the weekend. In general I'm fairly happy with their marks, though I may kick the ones that didn't listen to me in the head. I have no idea what I'll teach them tomorrow and haven't really had the time to create the new materials I wanted to for use tomorrow because of the marking. May sit there and do it tonight otherwise I should have time tomorrow morning. The joy and curse of teaching the afternoon class!

I must say that coming back to the classroom is soooooooooo much better than learning about being in one. But then I'm the quintessential bad student. Skipping classes whenever possible, playing noughts and crosses during lectures, perving on hotties and writing things up at the last minute. Weird that I should be the one teaching people study skills and university level thinking/writing.

I've been spending a lot of time creating new materials this term. The culmination of which is writing the end of term reading and listening exam for the university entrance kids. God knows why they want me to do it, but it would appear they don't realise just how shoddy I am lol. This is a different kind of test to previous ones, whereby the skills will all be integrated rather than tested separately. I'm down with the rationale behind this. I'm constantly reminding my own class about how this skill relates to that skill and that nothing is a waste of their time (how much do I sound like the stereotype teacher!). So this is nothing exceptional, just a pain finding the time to write it. And fuck that, I feel justified in taking a break to update my blog too!

When I eventually crawl into bed tonight I have some season 5 episodes of Angel waiting for me. Only saw a handful of episodes from season 5 so this feels like a reward for finishing up with uni. Yeah, I'm going to continue rewarding myself every time I want to do something indulgent. Sneaky eh?

AFL draft happened over the weekend. Collingwood seem to have a few likely prospects, but then so does every team. It was touted as the super-mega-ultra draft of all time, so it'd be pretty rough if any team came out of it without any bonuses. Essendon have scammed Mal Michael and here's to hoping they get well and truly done for their shady dealings in securing the ex-Lions fullback.

Back into it!

Well, I finished up all my assignments last Thursday and handed them in. I'm officially a free, and apparently semi-educated, man. There was much sake drunk last Friday night in celebration; the conversation only getting messy once we started renaming the months of the year. Let's just say that if next year's calenders include the months of Boobril, Clit-tember and Cocktober that we are owed some mega royalties. And yes, it was a guys and girls convo in case you're wondering.

As of today, I'm back working at the university after my grand holiday of three whole days. Feels good to be getting my groove back there. Though I get that awful feeling that I'm setting myself up to be far too useful to people. The leading teacher is still away at the moment, so decisions needed to be made. I'm not much for time-wasting debates and conversations, so decisions were made. Essay topics and research task questions set and reading and listening stuff assigned for the week. In addition I set up a few of the teachers new to the level with materials of my own creation because they're a bit simpler than some of the more 'academic' stuff. Academic in the sense that you need to be an educated native speaker to decipher it. Not much use to students of English, even at the level I teach.

Have also been applying for a couple of jobs for next year, though some of the hoops I'm being made to jump through are a serious turn-off. "Address the criteria". "Write no more than 7 pages". What happened to the good old days when your experience and smarts spoke for themselves? Hmmm... actually, if we were back in those days I'd probably be taking my number in line at Centrelink sometime next week.

I'm exhausted

So I've finished my final teaching round for the course. This means I have 3 weeks to complete 5 assignments and then it's all well and truly over. That puts me in the happy place. My final teaching round was in an all girls Catholic school. Not my cup of tea. Besides the whole hair pulling aspect of it, I learnt that while I can do all boys or co-ed I'm not really the type for all girls. Let's face it, teenage girls are little bitches. I felt bad that I couldn't get out of the school quick enough. Makes me feel that I'm somehow lacking in some way. Putting aside the desire for excellence in all areas, this just wasn't for me. That said, I've yet again tricked my supervisors and will now end with an average of H1 for my practical placements this year. Honestly, after 6 years of teaching I would have been pretty disappointed if I'd averaged less that this. I'm good to take a couple of moments to pay tribute and bask in my own gloriousness.

...

In addition to being run off my feet with the teaching round the other smile/glee/smile thing for the last couple of weeks has been SL's presence. She was here for just over two weeks and left this afternoon. I've promised her blogginess to read at work tomorrow so if you're bored just go look at the Wonder Woman pic again. I haven't seen SL since February this year, but we made up for lost time with lots of dinners out, dinners in, a Picasso exhibition, a movie (been a loooooong time since I've done that dating archetype!) and attended the wedding of two of my best friends yesterday. If you want pics of us dressed up like "grown ups" then you have to petition her.

I remember an old friend of mine, P, complaining to me when she first started living with her husband about how hard it was because she'd been single and living alone for such a long time. I can kind of understand that now. I'm used to being slow and free. Borderline reclusive according to my parents lol. And the past fortnight I was out almost every single night. Haven't done that since I was about 19 (discounting the ex-pat years as there's nothing else to do but go out with people). So it was an adjustment for me having someone that I wanted to be with all the time and that wanted to see me too. I think the best thing we did was pancakes at the Pancake Parlour at 12.30am on Friday night. Taco crepes are so drooly >insert Homer sound here<

So I'm back to the "single" life again. If we're very very lucky then we'll be together again by January but either way I plan to keep myself busy. As soon as these assignments are out of the way I think it's time to actually attempt a novel, which is scary and cool. It'll only be for my own reading (and SL coz God knows she'd never let me keep that from her) but it seems like the right time for it. It's weird to think about the changes over the past few months. I feel like I'm making decisions that are actually brain-based rather than cock-based. While I'm still the same nympho bastard that I've always been, I no longer desire "all that". I've had it already and eventually you come to the crossroads and see that you can either spend your entire life sleeping around and abusing your body and soul or you can have what you really want. I may be starting to hit ramble territory but at least there'll be someone laughing at me.

I have to make a shoutout to all my friends who were so lovely to SL while she was here. See boys and girls? Being choosy about the people you associate with is for the best. I have wonderful friends and we've all had ample reason to get together numerous times in the last couple of weeks because of the wedding which has been fantastic. Couple more weeks and it'll be my Sake Party then Christmas Dinner after that.

When I started writing there was apparently a point to all this. As usual I've sat doing other stuff (phone, Photoshop, newsfeeds etc) so this single post has taken and hour and a half almost to complete. And said what? That I'm in a gushy mood right now. Fuck it. Everyone should be gushy once in a while.

Every Good Boy Deserves Fruit

Day two in. Attended a staff meeting which began with a 15 minute prayer service, complete with members of staff singing for our pleasure. You ever get the feeling you've walked into some kind of alternate reality? That's kind of how this feels. I've attended many staff meetings this year and have found that they all share one thing in common no matter what type of school : they bore me shitless. Sometimes it's really hard to maintain the facade that you are actually interested in things that have nothing to do with you.

Am still adjusting to being in an all girl environment. Reminds me of the episode of Simpsons where Homer ends up in hell and is thrown in the Ironic Punishment Division. Me? I end up in an all girl school and find that they're all... hmmm... be polite here... "on a different level to me". 40 minutes of bitching about how they're made to wear a uniform is just plain boring. Sorry, sweethearts, it's the way it is. Move on and actually think about something that matters in life. Aaaah, I hear you say. How quickly he forgets his own high school years of gut-wrenching depression and bad poetry. Well, perhaps some things never change. Perhaps in high school we all bitch about things that don't really matter all that much.

Just read that the next installment of Chad Vader (go check it out on YouTube if you've not seen it) has been delayed so that it can be premiered on GOOD MORNING AMERICA!!!! Wow... YouTube is incredibly powerful. That and the mainstream media seem to be losing the battle to stay on top of things to the Internet. While we live in a halcyon era for YouTube, it surely won't be long, as we've seen already in a wonderful article by PintadoGuy, before the "movers and shakers" start using this arena to tell us what is "cool" again. I can only assume that we have less than six months before the copyright nazis start dragging down half the content from the site. Which is an interesting perspective. If I owned Cartoon Network, for instance, I'd be inclined to let people post up a few full episodes of my content (particularly if it was a show that was no longer in production) as people may access it on YouTube and then go out and buy a DVD box set at a later date. We've only seen a few examples of how larger corporations are actually listening to those of us that live part of our life on the Interweb. I'm thinking examples like Firefly/Serenity, Family Guy and Spider-girl for series that have been cancelled or nearly cancelled only to be brought back in one form or another through online and DVD/reprint support. No idea what point I was supposed to be making here... but YAY for new Chad Vader! October 11, me hearties!

Arrrrrrrrrrrr!

Oh yeah, and just to prove how ridiculously comprehensive YouTube is - here's the link to an episode of one of my favourite cartoons of all time : The Impossibles.

Silverside

I just got home from the first day of a new teaching round to a house filled with the scent of boiling silverside >insert Homer drool here<

Well, it wasn't quite that romantic. I dragged my ass inside, looked for letters on the kitchen table, vaguely heard my Dad utter that "I've cooked something special for you". That was when I opened my ample nostrils to find myself >insert Homer drool here<

Same result either way. So I ate far too many slices and then went back for second and third helpings as well as mashed potato and peas. I have the enviable (if you are female) ability to eat as much as I like of whatever I like and not put on weight.

First day of teaching round started off the same as all the others, with a sickly, sleepless night the night before. Then I hopped on the bus and it broke down halfway. Arrived at the school and joined the morning prayer with the other staff members. Don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I just don't do morning prayer. Not being prepared for this, especially at 8.15am on a Monday morning, I did manage to restrain myself from choking on my own tongue.

I am at an all girls school for this round. Believe me when I say that I would rather teach boys any day of the week. Boys butt heads with you to prove their masculinity. Once you assert your own, they respect it and just get on with things. Girls? Well, I was reminded yet again today that they female praying mantis bites the head off her male counterpart. That's kind of how it feels to be a man in an all girl school.

5 more sleeps...

Let the man decide

Took some students to St Kilda beach today. Lovely weather but the wind made it a bit chilly. Melbourne's still trying to work out what it wants to do as far as nice days are concerned.

Cover letters

Have spent much of today poring over a cover letter for a job application. My weekends are so the fun! Given that they wanted certain criteria addressed in the cover letter this took some time, and yes my usual verbosity played some part in what became a lengthy editing procedure. Suffice it to say that this cover letter has been looked at and critiqued by an international expert and a partner in a law firm. So maybe... maybe, I have it right now. All this effort for a job outside my realms of experience. But what the fuck? God's on my side so why not just apply, yes?

I was complimented on my ability to string a a grammatically accurate sentence together and upon my spelling during this process. I guess I'm so used to dealing with ESL students that I forget that most native speakers actually have English skills which are only marginally above those of the average high level ESL student. As I looked over several blogs tonight, some of which are written by "teachers" of English, I was shocked and dismayed to see just how povvo the level of English currently going around actually is. My favourite defence is "It's the Intaweb, I don't need to spell correctly or be grammatically accurate". I'm sorry, but the only excuse for breaking spelling and grammar rules on a regular basis is if you are so proficient in the language that you can experiment, or because you made a rare error - even I get picked up on these from time to time. Rare errors I can accept; consistent abuse of a language you are supposed to be teaching? Sorry fucktards, there's no excuse.

Even though the tonal variations of Mandarin are an utter pain in the arse, I think English is the most ruthless language to learn. Sure there are rules, but the number of exceptions makes learning the rules an even more odious task. I have the utmost respect for anyone that can master the English language from a non-native background. It's really damn hard people! Wish the hicks in country Australia (whose command of the language is questionable at best) could bear that in mind when they request language tests for migrants in this country.

You know what's better than sex? Falling in love with a girl five and half years after she fell in love with you and still getting a chance at being together.

Butterflies...

People talk

Kids are such wonderful creatures. I was slapped in the face with perspective today by a 14 year old girl who came into my office and wanted to talk. As a teacher you come to recognise when people have problems or issues almost immediately. I was told that this girl's parents were splitting up and that it was troubling her. This matched my own instincts so I took this on board when planning lessons (we were doing a book in which the lead character's parents had split up). Anyhow she came in and just let all her problems out. Her parents divorce. The secrets she was expected to carry but not share etc etc. Parents really know how to hurt their kids huh? I felt so sorry for her that she should be asked to bear all this at such a young age. I've made the appropriate arrangements for a counsellor for her, seeing as how I'll be gone at the end of this week. I feel a bit shit about that, she comes and talks to me and then I'm going. But then maybe she knows exactly what she's doing. And of course, it helped that this got her out of a boring class from her point of view!

Spending the last 3 weeks teaching media has reignited my passion for it. This all coincides with talking to SL's friend - on the phone no less! - about being involved in a related project. Speaking to her I've been really inspired to get back involved in that side of things! So we'll see how things go. I may not be of any use to this girl, but at least it's getting me off my lazy butt and getting back into it. So yay for media and yay for Apple Macs!!!