Meeting with Destiny Pt 7

Somewhere between life and death, Wolfgang could feel himself slipping away. He had fought hard and proved himself every bit the hero that he read about in comic books. In comic books people don’t usually lie there dying with one leg blown off. If there were a writer, he’d be sure to have words with him. As the world around him evaporated he could feel a presence before him.

“I told you not to go to that party.” The voice came through clearly, even better than his 5.1 system at home. “That’s where it all began and this is where it ends. I tried to warn you, you useless prat!”

“Whu..?” Wolfgang spluttered, a tightness in his chest making to hard to do anything at all.

“I was there, before you went to that party. I told you not to go.” The voice said, a tinge of bitterness coming through.

“But… but… that was – uggh… my friends…”

“Your friends? Are you honestly that thick?! Did it not occur to you that a) you don’t actually have any friends or that b) how in hell could they produce the disembodied voice thing without you finding out? God, no wonder you ended up here, bleeding out all alone accompanied by a ghost and the smell of elephant shit.”

“A… g-ghost?” Wolfgang squeaked, his fear and the cold starting to get to him now.

“You’re really not very quick are you? Who else would care enough to actually try and warn you about all this?” Wolfgang was very uncertain where all this was going.

“I’m you, dickhead.” The presence revealed itself to be Wolfgang himself, minus a leg. “I couldn’t warn you directly, there are meta laws against that kind of thing. So I just had to hope you’d take the advice of a disembodied voice in the middle of the night. And yet here we are. In another ten minutes, you’ll be me, and I’ll be you. For better or worse, I’m sticking with worse here, we’ll be dead.”

Wolfgang was silent for some time, taking this all in. This was the end; even his own ghost was telling him that.

“Is… is Cindy ok..?” He ventured.

“You know what happened to her. We can’t change that.” His ghost replied.

“Then… this is it…” He sighed, the strength rapidly leaving him.

“Almost. There’s time for one last bang.”

Of course there is, Wolfgang thought. While preparing for the final battle, Wolfgang had set some rather large caches of dynamite in key locations throughout the zoo. Should he have won the battle, he could disarm the bombs. Should this be the way things went… well, at least the beast and his Zoo Gang would no longer be around to take any more innocent lives. No one else’s brother would die for nothing.

5

4

3

2

1

BOOM!!!!!

The End.

Meeting with Destiny Pt 5

Wolfgang knew he had to go. He had made the necessary preparations. Two important things had happened during this time. Wolfgang had discovered during a regrettable accident with the neighbour’s pet dog that he had super-strength. He could lift trucks and open mayo jars with nary a thought. In addition, he had been having strange dreams. The dreams had come to him in flashes but slowly the picture had become clear : repressed memories! Wolfgang and his younger brother had once been attacked by some kind of beast so terrifying that the only way for his resilient but fragile mind to cope was to bury the event deep, deep within his memory. Unfortunately for the Fonzarelli family, Wolfgang had been so scared that he had run away, leaving his baby brother to have his insides removed in a quick but fatal way.

It was once these memories had resurfaced that Wolfgang knew he must meet his destiny. That the potent, but slightly stale mix of guilt, fear and anger for the events of so many years ago were now the catalyst for his transformation into the Wolf. He strapped several more grenades to his thighs and sheathed the broadsword that had now become an extension of his arm behind his back.

“It’s time,” He growled to the waiting night.

He arrived at the zoo and could smell trouble in the air. He was sure it must be a trap, hence the grenades. As he approached the entrance, three shadows cloaked in black took position ahead of him. The first of them made straight for him, a fist flying for his one, lone exposed pressure point. Knowing this could be the end of him, the Wolf produced his sword with the speed of a wolf pouncing on a newborn possum. One uppercut resulted in the two shadow halves falling to each side of him. There was no obvious blood, just purple ooze that bubbled where it lay. Before he could even look up, he found himself cut with a shadow sword.

“For fuck’s sake, mate!” He raged as he pounded the second shadow assassin into the concrete. As he watched the assassin disintegrate into ooze he saw the deep impression of his fist on the concrete. Wow, I really am strong, he thought, and these guys are starting to irritate me.

With this, the third silent shadow entered the fray. This one was stronger, his blows forcing the Wolf to concede ground at times. They exchanged blows, the Wolf’s anger at the memory of his dead brother coming to the surface.

“I’m sick of this, freak. It’s time I show you the door!” A direct super-strength punch at point blank range saw the shadow fly directly at the gates of the zoo, blowing them open and destroying the last of the assassins.

The Wolf entered the zoo, sword in hand. As he made his way towards a mysterious light in the distance, he began to feel a chill run through him. As though there was something coming he would never expect. Something that would chill him to the core. As the light grew brighter, the sound of chanting and stomping feet grew. He found himself at the top of an amphitheatre, crouching behind a stone statue of a lion. As he looked down to the stage below his heart skipped a beat. It couldn’t be! Not here!

But there it was. The beast that had taken his brother from him, surrounded by Zoo Gang members, Cindy Sluutkowski tied to a stake in the middle.

Meeting with Destiny Pt 4

The air was crisp, the only sound fighting for audibility with the fierce concentration of the two men moving slowly through martial arts movements was that of the local eagles lurking above. Had Wolfgang been any less absorbed in his meditative fighting trance, he would have sworn that one of the eagles was the one that had saved him only a week before. That the eagle was searching for him and him alone, perhaps to send him a message.

“It is time, young one. To face the coming devastation you must become The Wolf.” Hee coached his apprentice.

“But I’m not a fighter, sir, I’m just a man that fights sometimes.” Wolfgang said as he broke his trance and looked over at the man he had once thought dead.

“It’s not about what you do, my son. It’s about who you are. And I knew who you were the minute I laid eyes on you.” The older man picked stamped his right foot down, two staffs flicking up into his hands. He threw one to Wolfgang and invited the challenge.

“Sir, I’m not this… this… Wolf you think I am. I’m just another Collingwood supporter bearing the frustrating burden of premiership desire.” With that he charged at the older man. Clack! Chonk! Clang! The cry of the staffs rang out across the morning air. The older man laid a punishing blow to the younger one, forcing him back a step. With that, the older man, disappointed, swept Wolfgang’s legs from beneath him and had him on the his back, the staff pointed at his Adam’s apple.

“You’re dead.” Hee growled at him.

The tears were welling in Wolfgang’s eyes, but the burning emotion that was boiling from his head to his toes was anger. He glared at his teacher, shoved the end of the staff straight back at Hee’s head, striking him a somewhat surprising blow. With that he flipped straight from his back to his feet, a rush of undiscovered power surging through him.

“Sorry, old man.” He whispered as he laid the once-thought mythical dragon’s-needle stab kick to his teacher’s groin. “I hope you weren’t planning on having any more children, bitch.” He turned his back on the man now paralyzed on the ground, and looked to the sky. From the sun’s eye, something was flying towards him at rapidly uncountable speeds. Stay calm, know the Earth and the sky in which you dwell. At the last second, Wolfgang rolled out of the way, only just missing the incoming projectile, that he now knew to be an eagle.

“Fucking eagles…” He grumbled. Just then, but before later, he saw a piece of paper on the ground. He uncrumpled the piece of paper, and knew that something had begun. Maybe he did have a destiny. Maybe he could be the Wolf. Maybe he would have to be the Wolf.

The note read : We have something of yours. Come and get it or face a life of eternal, tormenting curiosity.

Meeting with Destiny Pt 3

Everything was moving in slow motion but Wolfgang’s thoughts were moving faster than lightning moving at lightspeed. The van in which members of the vicious Zoo Gang had kidnapped him was out of control and headed towards a cliff. Before he could climb into the front and hit the breaks, the van was airborne, screaming towards some craggy rocks 100 metres below.

With cat-like movements (Wolfgang had spent some weeks observing his cat the previous summer so he could imitate its movements) he scrambled to the back doors of the van and kicked them open. The wind rushing through his magnificent hair, he had only moments to act. It was 5pm, nearing sunset. Often the De Machine eagles, native to these parts, would fly around the cliff-face searching for their dinner at around this time. If I can use some of the blood from one of my attackers…, he thought.

Smeared in the blood of his vanquished enemies, Wolfgang waited one more second until he caught the glimmer of movement to his left and dove right. The eagle was startled by the sight of the blood-smeared man but when its senses caught up with it, it veered towards its new 6 foot 2 dinner.

“Got to time this… just… right…” Wolfgang grimaced.

The eagle dove at him, and Wolfgang managed to take off the belt from his jeans, wrap it around the eagle’s neck and was flown to the safety of the rocks below. Due to the lack of belt, his trousers had fallen off as the eagle descended, leaving him standing in his Phantom boxer shorts following his near-death experience. As he walked away, he was silhouetted by the explosion set off by the crashed van.

“Thank you noble beast of this partially coastal medium-sized village.” He said to the departing eagle. “At least there’ll be no evidence left behind for those pesky cops to look at.” The adrenaline was still pumping through his legs, making it seem that he was walking on a marshmallow cloud of honey.

By the time he arrived at the pub, feeling that his most recent adventure had entitled him to a beer, he noticed that there were three missed calls on his new Razr phone from Cindy Sluutkowski. As he started to dial the message bank he felt a hand on his shoulder. A hand with the grip of a cement coffin. The hand was almost as cold as ice, but not quite. He turned around, not able to believe his eyes. It was his former tae kwan do instructor, Hee Hutmilots.

“But… it can’t be! I saw you die in that explosion in the dead of night at the shipping yards when you were fighting twelve ninja rabbis and it was really difficult to see and I never looked for the body… you can’t be here… gasp…”

Meeting with Destiny Pt 2

He woke up, his head splitting like someone had thrown one of those Native American tomahawks at his temple. The feel of naked flesh beside him caused Wolfgang to let out an inaudible scream. What? Who? He couldn’t have. Surely he’d remember. But there beside him was Cindy Sluutkowski herself. Score! Wolfgang couldn’t really remember what had happened last night, but he was sure it must have been good.

“Hey, stud,” Cindy shifted into his body as she spoke. “That was so good last night. You were the best I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, yeah. They all say that, Cindy.” He rose from the bed and began stretching, his naked body shining in the morning light. If anything, he mused, I must look like some kind of Greek God. “Listen, last night was great but you better go now. I’ve got… important things to do. Give me a call if you want to do it again sometime.”

An hour later, Wolfgang was walking down the street feeling very much like a free man. He’d scored with the hottest girl in town and now he was on his way to score some drugs. Life was good. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Next thing he knew, Wolfgang was being grabbed from behind and shoved into a nearby van. The kidnappers blindfolded him, but he could smell something strange. It smelt like elephant poo. Aha! I’ve been kidnapped by the Zoo Gang, Wolfgang figured out. Wolfgang had been trying to avoid members of the Zoo Gang for weeks now. Last month he had dumped the daughter of a Zoo Gang member. Then last Thursday one of the gang members had found him. Wolfgang had punched the gang member’s eye out. It was gruesome, but necessary. So they must be after me for revenge, he thought.

“You dumped Magilla’s daughter you filthy sloth! And you punched Mizuri’s eye out. We’re going to wreck you. Hard!” A muffled, simian voice growled at him.

The Zoo Gang had tied up Wolfgang’s hands but he had a plan. If he could just distract them…

“Mizuri called my mother a poor and starving man’s concubine. What did you expect me to do?!” He spat at them.

“Really? Geez, we didn’t know that. I’d be pretty angry if someone said that about my mother…” One of the gang members reasoned.

Haha, it’s working, Wolfgang smiled beneath the blindfold as he reached the machete he always carried just for these occasions. Before the gang members could blink, Wolfgang was free of his ties and was attacking the gang members. Working on pure instinct, his muscles as taut as taut wires in some kind of attacking machine, Wolfgang was able to savagely kill 8 members of the Zoo Gang. Blindfolded. As he took the blindfold off and admired his handiwork, he looked out the front window of the van and saw that it was careening wildly towards a cliff! There was no hope for him this time…

Meeting with Destiny Pt 1

Wolfgang Fonzarelli wasn’t in a good mood that day. He’d stepped in dogshit on the way to the football and then his football team had lost and then a jerk Essendon supporter had tried to start a fight with him. It was one of those days. But at least he had good hair. All the girls thought so. As he walked through the main shopping strip in his city he admired the beautiful 2oth Century architecture and the hot women walking along in short skirts and tank tops. Wolfgang loved summer. He was in his own head thinking about the newest issue of Amazing Spider-man and was very surprised when he heard someone shout out his name.

“Wolf!”
He looked around but couldn’t see anyone.
“Wolf!”
There it was again.
“Oh, Macca. Sorry I didn’t know it was you,” Wolfgang said to his friend that had suddenly appeared right in front of him. “What’s up, dude?”
“Not much, man. Just thought I’d let you know there’s a 21^st on tonight and we should probably go.”
“Wicked! I haven’t been partying in ages. I’ll see you there.” With that, Wolfgang’s friend retreated into the crowd of hot women shoppers. Despite not knowing where the party was or what time it started, Wolfgang was sure that he would find his way there eventually.

Later that night, Wolfgang was walking up the street to the party. It was a bit cold and the wind was blowing leaves across the ground. It gave the effect of the night being really scary. But Wolfgang wasn’t scared. He knew he was special.

For the second time that day, Wolfgang got a surprise.
“Wooooooooooolfgaaaaaaaaaaang!” A ghostly voice sang to him from the darkess. “Wooooooooooooolfgaaaaaaaang!”
“Who’s there?” He called to the gaping night. He stopped and assumed a standard fighting pose, ready for action at the first hint of trouble. “What is it?”
“Woooooooooooolfgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! You must not go into this party.” The voice chirped at him.
“Oh, fuck off, Macca! You’re not funny, you know.” Wolfgang thought it must be his friend playing a trick so he relaxed a little.
“Don’t go in there. If you do, your life will never be the same.”
“Yeah right, loser!”
"Don’t go in there. And definitely don’t kiss Cindy Sluutkowski. This is the only warning I can give you. Don’t go in there.” The ghostly voice whispered ghostily.

Cindy Sluutkowski? Kiss her? Man, I have to go to that party now, Wolfgang thought to himself. But the voice had told him not to go. He lit a cigarette, giving himself time to think about what he should do…