Do you want me?

I've come to the end of a stupid, frustrating and ultimately exhausting 7 days. I've had epic levels of marking to complete, fielded the justified complaints of one of my classes and had to contend with identity and God issues. This is all a pretty typical week for me (with the exception of complaints at work as I very rarely receive them) but somehow it has just left me with the strength of a kitten and the brainpower of a zombie goldfish.

This term should have been a cruisy one. I had a lovely mix of students in terms of nationalities but after five weeks of this I've come to a conclusion. I need to change. Previously our student body was probably 85% Asian. This made life easy. I've been there done that and became very good at predicting their learning needs and how to handle classroom issues. Currently the student body is probably about 40% Asian, 30% Latin American, 15% Saudi Arabian and then misc. The Latin American and Saudi students are a TOTALLY different ballgame to teaching Asian students. You're all thinking "Duh! Did you teach at or attend a school for the 'gifted'?", but it's been a mind-bending experience. The student needs are so vastly different that it will require a total shift in my way of teaching to satisfy their needs. This is not a bad thing, mind you. Honestly, I'm probably at that point where I needed a complete challenge in what I'm doing.

The student complaints? Well that's where things got a bit edgy. They weren't complaints directed at me, but at my co-teacher (who happens to be one of my best friends at work). They went ballistic with a phonebook of charges against my co-teacher (she was with them 3 days and I was with them 2). The worst part was that I actually agreed with many of the things they were saying. So then there's that awkward thing where you try to defuse the situation while not taking anyone's side. When I tried to broach some of these issues with my friend she was very sensitive about the whole thing and just didn't seem to empathise with the students' POV. So what did I learn from this? That I MUST be class teacher when I work at this level. That way I have total control over the students' learning and can trust that all the things that need to be covered have indeed been covered.

It was suggested by the person closest to me that I am exactly like the main character, Hajime, in the novel South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami. Given that I've always felt an affinity with the protagonists in Murakami's works this does feel somewhat complementary on some level. But as much as I love Hajime, he's deeply flawed. And while I spend hours of days of weeks picking at my own scabs it can sometimes be a little weird to have someone tell you them as well. Secretly (or not so secretly given that I'm writing this on the Interweb)? I'm kind of happy that she saw parallels because they are definitely there. But I'm left with that thought : am I Hajime?

Youtube and I are going to have to assess our relationship. It's mostly been passionate, oftentimes funny and almost always time-filling. But last night the cracks in the veneer began to show. Youtube showed me hardcore preachers. They're sneaky and clever, using Youtube as a new method of spreading God's word. But if you actually listen to what they're saying... well... psssssssssssssssst guys! It's a little fucking insane! So besides Bargearse and 80's pop videoclips, Youtube and I are taking a break from one another. Damn you Youtube. I never thought you'd hurt my eyes and ears that way :(