Meeting with Destiny Pt 2

He woke up, his head splitting like someone had thrown one of those Native American tomahawks at his temple. The feel of naked flesh beside him caused Wolfgang to let out an inaudible scream. What? Who? He couldn’t have. Surely he’d remember. But there beside him was Cindy Sluutkowski herself. Score! Wolfgang couldn’t really remember what had happened last night, but he was sure it must have been good.

“Hey, stud,” Cindy shifted into his body as she spoke. “That was so good last night. You were the best I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, yeah. They all say that, Cindy.” He rose from the bed and began stretching, his naked body shining in the morning light. If anything, he mused, I must look like some kind of Greek God. “Listen, last night was great but you better go now. I’ve got… important things to do. Give me a call if you want to do it again sometime.”

An hour later, Wolfgang was walking down the street feeling very much like a free man. He’d scored with the hottest girl in town and now he was on his way to score some drugs. Life was good. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Next thing he knew, Wolfgang was being grabbed from behind and shoved into a nearby van. The kidnappers blindfolded him, but he could smell something strange. It smelt like elephant poo. Aha! I’ve been kidnapped by the Zoo Gang, Wolfgang figured out. Wolfgang had been trying to avoid members of the Zoo Gang for weeks now. Last month he had dumped the daughter of a Zoo Gang member. Then last Thursday one of the gang members had found him. Wolfgang had punched the gang member’s eye out. It was gruesome, but necessary. So they must be after me for revenge, he thought.

“You dumped Magilla’s daughter you filthy sloth! And you punched Mizuri’s eye out. We’re going to wreck you. Hard!” A muffled, simian voice growled at him.

The Zoo Gang had tied up Wolfgang’s hands but he had a plan. If he could just distract them…

“Mizuri called my mother a poor and starving man’s concubine. What did you expect me to do?!” He spat at them.

“Really? Geez, we didn’t know that. I’d be pretty angry if someone said that about my mother…” One of the gang members reasoned.

Haha, it’s working, Wolfgang smiled beneath the blindfold as he reached the machete he always carried just for these occasions. Before the gang members could blink, Wolfgang was free of his ties and was attacking the gang members. Working on pure instinct, his muscles as taut as taut wires in some kind of attacking machine, Wolfgang was able to savagely kill 8 members of the Zoo Gang. Blindfolded. As he took the blindfold off and admired his handiwork, he looked out the front window of the van and saw that it was careening wildly towards a cliff! There was no hope for him this time…