He's a God, he's a man, he's a ghost, he's a guru

SPOILERS FOR SUPERMAN RETURNS AHEAD!

There's a lot of love for this movie. I mean, people seriously like it. As M asked me the other day : "Did we see a different movie"? Up until this point, I had thought Bryan Singer to be more powerful than a locomotive when it came to film direction. Crapulence? He's more speeding than that. Bad scripts? He just leaps them in a single bound. And then he played a practical joke on me. He released this overlong mess of a film in place of the film I was supposed to love. I'd never though Bryan could be so vindictive. That there was so much hate in his heart. That he wanted to wound me specifically out of all the people in the world.

All these people who love this movie should seriously consider the following before they tell me this movie is good. This film clocks in at around 2 and a half hours and yet we don't actually have a proper verbal or physical confrontation between Superman and Lex Luthor. Superman and Lois are supposed to be together - we get it (despite the wooden acting making it difficult to truly believe or care about this)!! This plot point took up far too much time and honestly wasn't that interesting. C'mon it's Superman - of course she should be with him! Superman walks on to Krypto/crystal Island and is immediately weakened. He then has the crap kicked out of him by Luthor goons. He has a piece of K snapped off in his chest by Lex. He's then thrown into the ocean to flail about until a woman can save him (obviously designed to sell Lois as being a tough bitch in her own right, but Kate Bosworth is no Margot Kidder!). After going and absorbing power from the sun, which wasn't explained properly, it was just assumed you read the comics and knew what the hell he was doing, he dives under and picks up the ENTIRE Krypto/crystal island and carries it off merrily into space. Remember people, he was weakened the minute he stepped onto the island 17 minutes ago but now he can pick the whole thing up without being weakened? Yes, very very weak. And I'm not even going to get started in the utter stupidity of a Super-kid. Which, the more time you spend thinking about it, becomes a worse and worse idea. Rubbish.

Oh yes, friends and countrymen and not-so-countrymen, I was going to mention this yesterday but figured you lot were an honest enough bunch. If you want to guess the lyric in my subject line that's great but don't Google it. It's cheating. I can't imagine your heart feeling particularly fulfilled by cheating in my wee competition. AND, you'll only have to explain yourself to Jesus. Forgiveness aside, I'm pretty sure he'll look down his nose at you.